The moment you find out you are pregnant, you figure out what your date might be. You mark the calendar and tell all your loved ones when "the big day" is. You wait with anticipation and mark the days off your calendar.
For some mamas, the day comes before the mark. Often times leaving these mamas feeling unprepared and thrown off because baby didn't wait until the day they were supposed to. Sometimes these mamas are relieved to not have to go all the way to their due date, but sometimes it can be stressful to have an early baby
(especially if you're a mama who likes to plan).
For other mamas, the day comes, aaaaand. . . your little peanut doesn't make their debut.
Calls, texts, emails, facebook messages, etc, all flood in to your computer or phone-
"Just checking in"
"Where is that baby?"
Every time you get another message, you groan, as the reminder that you're still pregnant is rubbed in your nose.
Many mamas, in the last month or so before they give birth, begin to get hounded by well meaning folks who seem to have her under constant baby surveillance.
When I was pregnant, with my first and second, I went six and eight days past my estimated due date. It seemed that people would only contact me to find out if I'd had the baby (and forgot to tell them). I felt criticized that I'd not given birth yet and I started to completely shut everyone out.
By the time I had my third, I didn't tell anyone when my actual estimated due date was.
I told them that my baby would arrive "sometime in July or August."
Best. Decision. EVER.
She was ten days post date.
Here's the thing, mama's (and everyone else), our due dates are an estimation. Each and every pregnancy is different.
You may have delivered at 39 weeks+4 days last time, and then turn around to have another baby at 41 weeks+3 days your next pregnancy.
It is all so incredibly individual.
I hear a lot of frustration from mamas who haven't delivered their babes by 40 weeks, their due date comes and goes, with no movement whatsoever from baby.
But 40 weeks is an estimation, not a expiration.
Research is showing us that only about 50% of women give birth at 40 weeks.
The other 50% give birth before OR after 40 weeks.
I often tell my clients, if they come to me early enough in their pregnancy, that I advise sharing only the birth MONTH with anyone but their partner and *maybe* one other person.
And if a mama does share the due date with you, please, please, PLEASE, when you talk to her, don't say things like:
"Where is that baby?"
"When are you gonna pop?"
"Are you ever going to have that baby?"
Mom is already thinking and feeling these things and doesn't need any pressure from anyone else to have the baby.
She needs to be reminded, more than anything else, that she is LOVED and that her body and baby are trustworthy. It will all work as it is supposed to.